Trump-tastic Trouser Truffles (thanks Dan!)

What an awesome thing crowd-sourcing is - Facebook at its best :-)

I’ve recently had my most popular status on Facebook and it was all about farts.  Or rather what they could be called instead of “fart”.  Who knew that it would grab so many people’s attention and interest?!

Here’s why I did it (aside from the fact that it was serious fun and I might just have to do it again for no good reason!).  Jeannie’s feedback on my manuscript was really encouraging– which I wasn’t expecting as I’d started to convince myself it was complete rubbish (very common for writers to swing between “this is great” and “this is tosh” with their work, often within the same 10 minute period).  However, one seemingly small, but actually massive, thing she flagged up was my use of “whizz” as the codeword my two main characters use for “fart”.

It’s American for “pee”, which I guess I knew but had conveniently forgotten.  Now who knows whether or not this book will ever get published but, just in case it does, it makes sense to smooth its path to being published globally as well and avoid obvious pitfalls like that from the start.

The BIG problem is that “whizz” is used a lot in the book, when they’re discussing farts.  Plus Ben (the lead character) is a runner, so it plays on the idea that running fast could also be described as whizzing (it makes sense when you read the book – at least I hope it does!).  Any alternative word has to nicely fit both uses, so what on earth could be an appropriate substitute?!

Disheartened I turned to my friends for help.  And what a wonderful crazy wave of creativity I was met with!!!  No less than 54 inspired suggestions :-)

I was then faced with the new problem of selecting the right one!   “Fluff” was my initial favourite (thank you Natalie and others) until I realised that it’s quite common for ladies to use that term for farting anyway.  Next I loved “traf” (thank you Jodie), especially as kids think it’s fun to spell words backwards.  I told Jeannie about this change and she asked if I’d googled it to check it out.

Oh.  My.  Goodness.  Thence began an Urban Dictionary education I wish I hadn’t needed to have.  I do have to be thorough, especially with a kids’ book, so it is a necessary evil!  Right, I’m not using “traf” then :-(  

Okay, I’ll change “fluff” to “floof” I thought.  That’s a completely made up word.  Apparently not.  It’s slang for ladies’ bits.  Great.

I checked out “flump” and “gurgler” (thanks Tom) before despairing completely.  What is the world coming to?  Has every word been corrupted and got a dodgy alternative meaning??

Just before I chucked the whole manuscript in the bin, thankfully inspiration came to me in a swoosh.  And “swoosh” it almost was, but it's not completely perfect on the Urban Dictionary and Nike might take issue.  However, I think I can get away with “whoosh”.  Similar onomatopoeia to “whizz”, but with no majorly dodgy connotations (that I’ve managed to find so far, anyway).

I’ve tweaked the scene where Ben and Ned discuss what to call his farts and it’s even funnier and richer now thanks to the inclusion of some of your suggestions.  If the book gets published as a series (my ultimate hope!) then I’ll be able to incorporate more of these crazy and wonderful words in the future (subject to the Urban Dictionary test).  If you provided any of these ideas then THANK YOU!!  I may not have used your exact suggestions as my replacement word but your creativity fuelled my creativity.  It was a real pleasure to have you involved in part of my writing journey too - feel free to join in again sometime :-)

Sharing My "Baby" (the detailed progress update!)

I’ve been pretty philosophical in recent posts (and will be again!), so I figured a real progress update was in order for a change.  The last one I did shared that editing the second draft is much harder than writing the first draft, as it’s a much more skilled task. 

A decisive moment in that process came when I got a few days holiday in America back in March.  It gave me the time and space to lay my book out in chapters - each with a post-it summarising what happens in that section - to look at its structure and progress. 

What a simple but powerful act that was!  Possibly it would be for any writer but because I’m such a visual person, seeing it like this meant I instantly understood how it fitted together and where it didn't work.  It enabled me to iron out various issues with the manuscript – especially with its timings.  So, just before the Easter holidays I completed the second draft and printed it out to give to a couple of families (as well as mine) to read and critique. 

Sharing my “baby” was a scary thing!  I've kept it close to my chest since its conception, and no one has read more than about a page of it so far.  But despite the fact I’m such a perfectionist and my own harshest critic, I needed external feedback before I could take it much further.  So I handed over the manuscripts.  And then waited with great fear and trepidation!

I expected the feedback from Jeannie, my writing accountability partner, to be tough. After all, she's a writer and she would be able to pick weak points apart. So I was flabbergasted and thrilled that it was really positive and encouraging.  She made me believe that I actually might be able to do this!  There were plenty of suggestions for tweaks, but overall her and her kids had loved it. Especially - and most importantly - her 8 year old son (the book is aimed at 7-10 year olds, especially boys)!

With the second lot of feedback, I’d foolishly asked my friends to be extremely critical – mainly coz I thought they’d be too nice otherwise – and so it was own fault that I got what I asked for!  It was a painful, but powerful lesson for me about how to ask for feedback.  It’s just as important to ask people what they like and what they think works, as well as what they don’t like and what doesn’t work.  Without the positive stuff it’s too easy to feel demoralised and want to use the manuscript to light a fire that evening!

I also learnt that while feedback from anyone can be helpful, it’s particularly effective if you’re careful who you ask too.  What the target audience think is key.  One of my 12 year old son’s first comments when I asked him for feedback was “It’s not exactly The Hunger Games, is it?”  Er no, sweetheart, it isn’t meant to be :-S  Feedback from a 12 year old girl was that it wasn’t her cup of tea, but she could see that 7-10 year old boys might like it.  That’s not to say that these kids’ opinions aren’t useful, but they're unlikely to be as valuable as feedback from the specific target audience.

Feedback is also subjective and I’m now working through it, deciding what I’ll change on the basis of it and what I won’t.  That can be very complicated though.  For example, the age-appropriateness of language I use at times was one thing flagged up.  To some extent I agree with those comments and have made a few changes.  BUT, I also examined the language used in books like “How To Train Your Dragon” and David Walliams’ “Billionaire Boy” and became completely confused.

“HTTYD” is sometimes defined as being for 7-10 year olds and sometimes for 8-12 year olds.  They’re actually quite different categories and represent a massive range of reading abilities!  The book contains some fabulous words, including many that wouldn’t fit into the recommended guidelines for a 7-10 year old age range.  So, aside from the wonderful but challenging Viking names, we also find “preposterously” on the first page, “initiation” on the second and “cacophony” on the fifth.

In “Billionaire Boy” (a similarly confusing age-categorised book) we also have “preposterously” on the second page, as well as “masseuse” on the third and “palatial” not long after.

So, yes, there are generally accepted norms, but rules are always made to be broken and it can be fun to see what you can get away with.  I love all these words!  Also, kids always need a few new or difficult words.  If it’s in context it can be figured out.  If not, then you can ask someone else, or just get on and not let that one word detract from all the other thousands of words in the book.  It’s about balance and getting that right is my current challenge.

Having your word critiqued is tough!  I doubt it ever gets easier either, but I’m desperately hoping I never get a review like this one of Dan Brown’s new novel.  I don’t care how many books you’ve written or how many millions you have – to be taken apart in such a shrewd and public way, albeit brilliant as well, has still got to hurt.

I’m now working on the third edit of the manuscript – this may seem like a never-ending process to you non-writers out there but allegedly seven (yes, seven!) drafts is the norm.  I’m hoping for four edits, maximum five (please!)!

P.S. Jeannie’s feedback also raised an interesting big issue which I'll explain in more detail in a few days… ;-)

Concise Progress Update - for those with little or no time or interest ;-)

If you can’t be bothered, or haven’t got time, to read the 964 words of my more interesting/enjoyable/detailed/waffly progress update, here’s the concise version (with thanks to Twitter for teaching me the skill of brevity). 

Finished editing the second draft.  Editing is harder than writing.

Gave it to 3 families to read.  Scary sharing my “baby”.

Got feedback.  Big learning experience.

Working on third draft.  Interesting challenges.

Breaking My Heart

Having your heart broken provides such great fodder for writing.  Just ask Taylor Swift!

I bought Taylor’s album “Red” this week, having loved the singles I’d heard off it.  If Wikipedia is to be believed then she’s had at least 6 relationships in the last 4 years, none of which have lasted longer than about 4 months!  That relationship rollercoaster seems to have given her a lot of material to write about – the song lyrics are chockfull of love and heartache.

Perhaps she should be grateful to be able to exorcise these feelings in this way?  Will she still write such great lyrics when she finds someone to settle down quietly with and live happily ever after?  Without love and heartbreak there’d be significantly less literature, music and art in the world.  Sad, but true.

Hopefully that that isn’t because there’s more bad stuff going on in the world than good :-(  I’d like to think that it’s mainly because when we’re happy we just get on and enjoy it, but when things are bad we want to either share it to get some sympathy/support/encouragement, or we want to express it in order to get it out of our systems and find some relief.

The last couple of years have been pants - especially as I’m usually very happy-go-lucky - but I intend to find the silver lining by turning it into stimulus for my writing.  In my Young Adult stuff, that is - it wouldn’t quite work in my current kids’ book as 7-10 year old boys aren’t overly fussed by anything particularly deep in my experience, lol :-)   It’s the perfect way to make sure that none of it wins by stealing stuff from me (especially my mental health and creativity), but actually leaves something positive behind.

Finding a creative outlet when you’re upset/stressed/angry (delete and add to as appropriate) is a great idea and can be done in lots of ways.  Why not give it a try sometime?  You could write, paint, play music, pray, build, dance, act, etc.  Last year I was really cross about something and wrote the following very basic but pretty pithy poem.  It’s not about to win any prizes (understatement!) and I can lol at it now, but it was cathartic to get it down on paper and then move on.  I give it to you as an example of how what you do doesn’t have to be any good, as long as it makes you feel better :-)

Why Bother?

The world would be a better place

If everyone looked out for everyone else

They say.

Do they?

LOL, it’s not even vaguely close to Taylor Swift’s level (not that it was meant to be)!  Her lyrics are really fresh despite the well-worn topics.  It’s so easy as a writer to slip into cliché or standard descriptions, as my writing partner’s recent edit of my manuscript demonstrated, oops :-)  Taylor, however, thinks outside the box (is that a cliché, lol?!) for new ways to describe old feelings:

“Loving him is like driving a new Maserati down a dead end street”

“Forgetting him is like trying to know somebody you’ve never met” (It hurts my head to try and work out the logic of that one – I’m probably not supposed to!)

I can’t imagine any of us would ever ask for tough times, but we can choose to turn them into great source material for creative purposes, or general motivation for numerous things.  Then we might even produce much better work thanks to those experiences, making sure that they advance, rather than cripple, us!

Follow Your Dreams

I’ve always loved reading stories in magazines and newspapers about people who got made redundant, forcing them to step out and turn their career dream into a reality. But I always feel sad too that they didn’t do this until they had few or no other options.

I keep noticing even more of that situation at the moment.  I’ve become addicted to Masterchef Australia and nearly all the final 24 contestants on it have had to give up their jobs in order to take part and pursue their ambition of a career in food (the Aussie version operates on a kind-of Big Brother house idea for several months, rather than the simpler UK format).  Because I’m watching series 3 (on the Really channel) and it was actually aired in Australia in 2011, I’m able to google the contestants and see what they’re up to now.  Pretty much everyone has moved forward in seeing their dream become a reality and are now involved in the food industry on a full-time basis.

I see it more around me as well.  My neighbour is about to be made redundant and hopes to finally have the opportunity to try to write a children’s book and get into textile art.  A good friend has always loved photography but didn’t think it could be a real job until recently.  It’s taken time for her to find the courage to reduce her work hours in order to really develop that business and that dream!

And then, of course, there’s me!  I’ve wanted to be a writer since I was a kid, but lots of people do and so I thought it was just a ridiculous dream to be put to one side.

I know it's a bit idealistic but I love the idea of people being able to work at doing whatever it is that they're really talented at. Everyone would benefit from more people being fulfilled by their work and doing a great job coz they’re passionate about and good at what they’re doing.

Using our gifts and talents to their full potential is Biblical.  Jesus makes that clear in the famous parable of the talents and Peter reiterates it later in the New Testament when he says that “each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others.”  In this great podcast about “Calling” (i.e. vocation, life work, etc.) from Christchurch London, Andy Tilsley asks a pertinent question which really hit home with me – “What are your passions and skills and gifts and are you making a contribution [to society] with them?”

Why don’t we follow our dreams?  I’ve taken so long to follow mine and I’ve blogged about some of the reasons that got me finally started on this path.  If you’re not following your dreams, why not?  Life’s far too short not to do what you really want to do!!

Obviously there’s a very real need to put food on the table.  But as so many people who’ve been made redundant have found that necessity is often what provides the motivation to work even harder at their new venture.  In fact, if we try to do our “dream” as a sideline, without the motivation of not starving (!), we often don’t get anywhere with it or we certainly don’t get there quickly.

Fear is a biggie too.  There’s no guarantee of success with something new or different.  Society tends to define us by our jobs – “what do you do?” is a common conversation opener.  Without a “real” job we can be unsure who we are or concerned what people might think of us, when paid employment is the norm.  It takes courage to step out.  One of the key motivating factors for me to get writing was not wanting to be on my deathbed thinking “I wonder what would have happened if I’d actually written that book?”.  I’d rather give it a go and fail than always wonder “what if…?”.

“Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear.” (Ambrose Redmoon)

When I tell people I’m working on being a writer, I often see the same look come over their face which says “hmmm, in your dreams!”.

Yes, you’re right!  In my dreams for a long time.  But definitely a work in progress towards becoming a reality and one that I’m going to give my best shot :-)

A Not-Really-A-Book-Review Book Review

I love reading - the perfect day would definitely include time chilling out with a book - but it's one of the first things to get pushed to the bottom of the pile when I'm busy.  When I do read, it is a dangerous activity as well though coz if a book's any good, once I've started it then I become desperate to get to the end and can't put it down!  There's a serious risk that I'll forget to keep appointments, pick my kids up from school or feed them :-) 

However, one of the principal pieces of advice given by published writers to wannabe writers is "read, read, read" or to put it another way "the more you read, the better you'll write". Since realising that reading is such an essential part of my "work" as a writer, I protect it better and it stays much higher up my priorities list. Hurray :-)

When I started this blog I didn't consider including book reviews as part of it.  Despite my degree being English Literature and Language, I hated having to deconstruct and analyse books in tutorials.  All I knew is whether or not I enjoyed them.  Enjoyment is still my primary concern when reading, but now I also understand that how enjoyable a book is is mostly down to how well it's written.

And when I've found something I enjoy then I want to share it with people :-)

"Torn" by David Massey is about a 19-year-old girl/woman, Ellie, a newly qualified British Army medic, on her first tour in Afghanistan. There's a compulsory love interest in the background, but the main action centres around the battle in Afghanistan in general and 2 Afghan kids in particular.

As the story and the situation unfold it becomes increasingly difficult to see who's right and wrong, friend or foe.  The lines shift and blur between the UK/US Army, the Afghan people, the Taliban, the Afghan Security and the kids. This is not a place or situation where things are black and white, but many many shades of grey.

How can you tell what's true and right in a situation, especially one as brutal and confusing as this?  It's an intriguing and challenging story as you're pulled one way and then the other with the characters, as the adventure progresses, more information comes to light and the "truth" seems first one thing and then another.

It's pretty gruesome in parts and there are inevitable deaths, but it wouldn't be at all realistic without that, given the setting , and I thought each situation was handled well.

It seemed such a realistic portrayal of life in a front-line battle situation to me that I was convinced the author must have had first hand experience.  Apparently not, if the acknowledgements at the end of the book are to be believed - he's picked up a lot of it from Call of Duty (!) and friends (who may have first hand experience?). This surprised and also intrigued me as one of the other fundamental principles of writing is "write what you know".  It also encouraged me as one Young Adult book idea I'm playing with involves a CBRN incident and although I have some insight into what might happen (thanks to a great training course I attended last year), I've never actually been in a CBRN incident thankfully!  It's a relief to remember how much work the imagination does, although realism and authenticity are still important.

What I love about "Torn" is what I love about YA fiction as a genre - it deals with difficult issues and situations in a realistic and thought-provoking way. It's pacy and pithy, because its shorter than adult fiction, so it stimulates rather than drains. It takes you on a journey where you learn more not just about an actual situation, but also about how people react and behave in these situations.  This consequently makes me consider what I would do if faced with the same scenarios and choices.  You could call it personal character development through fiction! 

Enjoying a book is a good thing for any reader.  Understanding why and what I enjoy about a book is an even better thing for me as a writer!

(P.S. If you'd like a "real" review of Torn, then there's a great one here! - http://www.booksbiscuitsandtea.co.uk/posts/review-torn-david-massey/)

One Bite At A Time

Years ago when working in a training environment I did the Belbin test for the first time and discovered that I don't have a “completer finisher” bone in my body!

I think it has a lot to do with my self-diagnosed ADD (that’s a tale for another time!) and the fact that there are so many interesting things to be doing in the world.  I'm always looking for the next project and challenge before I've finished the last one. 

I knew, therefore, that this would be a particular challenge with writing a book and may be a large part of why I naturally veer towards writing children's and young adult fiction (they’re shorter!).

Despite only being in the middle of the second draft of my manuscript (and having recently learned that 7 drafts is "normal", noooo!!), my mind is already wandering off thinking about potential story lines for future books in the series, as well as possible scenarios for YA books!  It’s tempting to do some work on those but I’m never gonna get this book finished if I do. 

Recently I was amazed to discover that a friend of mine had never heard the saying/joke:

"How do you eat an elephant? 

One bite at a time." 

Fantastic illustration attributed to Sean Gallo at www.seangallo.com

It’s the daily guiding principle of my life (aside from my relationship with God, of course!)!!  Taking things one bite - or step - at a time is the only way I get anything done, especially when I’m overwhelmed by an impossible to-do list or a project that seems too big.  It’s also how I got through my depression on a daily basis (and still do in the low patches). In all things I’ve learnt to focus on the goal and press on towards that, one step at a time.

It’s actually how we function all the time, we’re just not aware of it.  If I want to get from this desk to the kitchen to get a drink then I have to put one foot in front of the other.  Most of the time I don’t think twice about it.  But if I had an injury that made walking difficult then each step would be a challenge and I would have a greater sense of achievement when I finally made it to the kettle than I usually do :-D

When things are tough we’re more aware of each step but it’s important to recognise that it’s still movement forward and celebrate that.  

The initial writing of my manuscript felt easy and fairly instinctive – like a normal walk to the kitchen - as I just let the ideas and story gush out.  Editing a manuscript is much more challenging as there are so many different major and minor elements that need analysing and adjusting – each step is a real effort and needs serious application from me.  Some days I wonder if I’ll actually manage to produce a polished finished manuscript that’s ready to submit to a literary agent.

However if I keep chipping away at it, not letting the enormity of the task overwhelm me but take it one addition/deletion/tweak at a time, then I have much more confidence that I will get there….one day :-)