One Bite At A Time

Years ago when working in a training environment I did the Belbin test for the first time and discovered that I don't have a “completer finisher” bone in my body!

I think it has a lot to do with my self-diagnosed ADD (that’s a tale for another time!) and the fact that there are so many interesting things to be doing in the world.  I'm always looking for the next project and challenge before I've finished the last one. 

I knew, therefore, that this would be a particular challenge with writing a book and may be a large part of why I naturally veer towards writing children's and young adult fiction (they’re shorter!).

Despite only being in the middle of the second draft of my manuscript (and having recently learned that 7 drafts is "normal", noooo!!), my mind is already wandering off thinking about potential story lines for future books in the series, as well as possible scenarios for YA books!  It’s tempting to do some work on those but I’m never gonna get this book finished if I do. 

Recently I was amazed to discover that a friend of mine had never heard the saying/joke:

"How do you eat an elephant? 

One bite at a time." 

Fantastic illustration attributed to Sean Gallo at www.seangallo.com

It’s the daily guiding principle of my life (aside from my relationship with God, of course!)!!  Taking things one bite - or step - at a time is the only way I get anything done, especially when I’m overwhelmed by an impossible to-do list or a project that seems too big.  It’s also how I got through my depression on a daily basis (and still do in the low patches). In all things I’ve learnt to focus on the goal and press on towards that, one step at a time.

It’s actually how we function all the time, we’re just not aware of it.  If I want to get from this desk to the kitchen to get a drink then I have to put one foot in front of the other.  Most of the time I don’t think twice about it.  But if I had an injury that made walking difficult then each step would be a challenge and I would have a greater sense of achievement when I finally made it to the kettle than I usually do :-D

When things are tough we’re more aware of each step but it’s important to recognise that it’s still movement forward and celebrate that.  

The initial writing of my manuscript felt easy and fairly instinctive – like a normal walk to the kitchen - as I just let the ideas and story gush out.  Editing a manuscript is much more challenging as there are so many different major and minor elements that need analysing and adjusting – each step is a real effort and needs serious application from me.  Some days I wonder if I’ll actually manage to produce a polished finished manuscript that’s ready to submit to a literary agent.

However if I keep chipping away at it, not letting the enormity of the task overwhelm me but take it one addition/deletion/tweak at a time, then I have much more confidence that I will get there….one day :-)

Challenging or Crippling?

Comparing yourself, or your work, to someone else can be challenging (in a good way) or it can be crippling.  On the positive side, it might bring out your competitive edge and push you on to do better or achieve more.  Often though, comparison can quickly cause a whole gamut of negative emotions to come into play.   

One of the biggest obstacles I've faced recently is not being crushed by comparing myself to others - in this context as a writer, but I'm good at doing it in general too!  It's easy to forget that I can choose how I respond.

I’ve been re-reading some of the best kids’ books out there, in order to look at their openings, character development, structure, etc. so that I can get some hints and tips for improving my second draft.  It’s so easy to end up feeling seriously inferior in the face of that though and “How To Train Your Dragon” has been the worst culprit!  If I could write like anyone else then it would be Cressida Cowell (or JK Rowling or Suzanne Collins too, but let’s not go there).

I know that I need to let her impressive writing spur me on to write the very best book I can myself, yet it would be too easy to take the path of letting the comparison not only cripple me, but crush me to the point that I decide I could never be as good as her and give up completely.  

I even feel like that with this blog!!  A couple of friends have recently started new blogs and they're way better than mine already (imho), especially as they’re posting in and promoting their blogs much more than me - I don’t even remember to tag my posts or advertise their existence on Twitter most of the time!  I’d give you the links if I were a better person, but I’m not, hahahahaha*.  They’ve already caused me to wrestle with the temptation not to bother writing mine anymore.

So why do I bother writing this blog or books at all?  I guess I feel, like most writers, that I have thoughts and stories I want to share and, while at times they may be similar to other people’s, they are nevertheless unique because they’re told with my voice.  They may not be as good – that’s for a publisher and the public to ultimately decide – but they’re still something that no one apart from me can say.  I can't write like Cressida Cowell (my life is too boring for a start, compared to hers!) but even if I could then I wouldn't get published coz she already is and people want something fresh and new to read, not a lesser imitation.

I will always be second best at being someone else so I may as well just write my blog and my books, in my way and my voice, to the very best of my ability and see what happens :-)  And that holds true for whatever you do too!

*Oh go on then, here they are.  http://confessionsofanamerican.com/ is the website/blog of my amazing writing accountability partner Jeannie – full of funny cross-cultural comments, writing thoughts and powerful insights into human trafficking.  http://markrushworth.me/ is the new blog of one of my church elders – Ordinary Guy, Extraordinary God (The Musings of a British Church Leader) – and contains a particularly good post on Oscar Pistorius “Fallen Heroes”.  The one on "Freedom From Self-esteem" was posted while I was drafting this post and is clearly something I need to get more of a handle on, LOL!

Inspiration!

There are so many potential sources of inspiration around us all the time to stimulate and enthuse us for every area of our lives, no matter what you do or who you are. 

I’ve previously mentioned my love of encouraging soundbites on Twitter, and Instagram is another recent discovery of an amazing source of inspiration.  Having just joined, I was aimlessly browsing the site - trying to work out what on earth it was all about and how to use it - when I came across a photo that encapsulated a potential character and futuristic world I’d been musing over!

Numerous “how to write” books suggest ways of getting to know your characters (e.g. writing a profile of them) but I’m a very visual person and so having a picture of a character helping me to instantly “see” them is just invaluable.  I suddenly understood so much about them and their situation!  How amazing is that – to spring board off someone else’s creativity for the inspiration to write a story?!  Creativity is such a generous and self-perpetuating phenomenon :-)

In a similar vein I was thrilled recently to take a trip to the Yorkshire Sculpture Park with my good friend Kirsten, a very talented photographer!  I’ve always found it interesting watching her work (and she’s the only person who’s ever been able to make me look half decent in photos) but spending hours with her taking photos on the most gorgeous of wintry days, I was totally fascinated to observe how she sees the world.  It is subtly but significantly different to my perspective.

Even when she takes some obvious shots, e.g. this lovely bridge (which I encouraged her to do, to be honest), she frames it so much better than I would.  Even more impressive is the fact that she’s made it look so good when there’s actually an unattractive green workmen’s hut hidden behind the log and a small JCB positioned behind the central pillar!

 

Then she got up close to the bridge and started snapping away, while I watched and waited and asked what on earth she was doing.  This photo shows you what she was seeing that I wasn’t!  

From that point on I started to look at the world around us in a different way as well – the reflection of tree trunks in a small un-iced part of the lake, the amazing colours and textures of a brick wall and the defining detail of a wire horse’s nose (I did remain on the fence about the beauty of a rusty knob on a metal bridge though ;-)).  But who would ever deliberately take a photo of someone's legs?  And who knew it could look so interesting?!

When you’re a writer you get the fun and privilege of seeing things through someone else’s eyes – learning to do that well is essential to writing convincingly!

But whatever you are and whatever you do, don’t go through life seeing things in the same familiar way or doing the same things again and again just for the sake of it.  Don’t let the busyness and difficulties of life make you glaze over.  Look at something in a new fresh way today and let it inspire you!

How's It Going?

I’ve had a few people ask me recently how the writing is going and as I haven’t really addressed that question in the last few blog posts, I thought I’d update those of you who are interested enough to still be reading this ;-)

I finished my first (rough!) draft just after Christmas as planned, woohoo!  The pleasure of completing it was massive, let me tell you.  I still grin like a slight loony every time that I remember I’ve managed to get this far with it :-)  There’s still a loooong way to go with editing subsequent drafts and making it in a polished manuscript fit for human consumption, but I am so chuffed to finally be properly on this writing journey!

Like a good girl, I’ve followed all the writer-ly recommendations to put it aside for a couple of weeks so that I come back to the task of redrafting fresher and with a more detached critical eye (allegedly, lol!).  Taking that break has been ridiculously hard though!  I love my characters so much that I wanted to keep on spending time with them and having come this far into a long-held dream, I didn’t want to have to stop.  I’ve practically had to sit on my hands to prevent myself from working on it and thankfully I’ve also managed to distract myself mentally by thinking more seriously about the young adult fiction I’d like to write, with various ideas already emerging, which is very exciting.

Thankfully the break is now over and I can get back to hanging out with Ben, Ned and Miss Bitts, hurray :-)  My first task has been to print out the first draft – all 123 pages of it! – and that’s brought another massive smile to my face :-D  As it’s printed 2 pages to one sheet of paper it looks a bit like a book!!!  I know, I know, I know there’s still weeks and months of work to go until it has any hope of becoming a real book but it’s a mega thrill to see it in that form anyway!

Now the hard work really begins though :-/  So far all I’ve had to do is get my ideas out onto paper, which has been surprisingly easy.  Next, I have to look at serious stuff like rising tension (the story not me!), plot development, character development, appropriate language choices for the age range, etc. etc.

So, *deep breath* and keep watching this space for the peaks and troughs of my writing journey in this next season…

Highs and Lows of 2012

I love to take time at the turn of one year to the next, contemplating what’s happened in the previous 12 months and considering what may come in the sparkly new year!

2012 was a very mixed year.  At the beginning of it, I felt God say to me it would be a year of high highs and low lows and, boy, was it!

The best high was finally writing the first draft of my children’s book – something I’ve wanted to do for so many years.  Even better than the achievement of having got something down on paper though, was the discovery that I LOVE writing, even more than I thought I would. It feels almost magical sometimes how ideas and words can suddenly flow from “nowhere” and being able to create people, worlds and situations is a complete thrill!  Writing gives me so much pleasure that I actually find myself getting tetchy on days I don’t write :-)  There’s nothing I want to do more than write now and so I really hope to discover this year that I’m good enough to get published and be able to do it as a “proper” job!

I probably remember most of the lows better than the other highs though - hopefully not because there were more of them but because I want to learn from them and see some good come out of them.  I’m a silver lining kind of girl :-) plus I know that God works all things together for the good of those who love him, even the crappy things!

The biggest low that overshadowed much of the year was depression, which I only recognised finally in May when it got particularly bad.  It was a rubbish time, but I did learn a lot from it.  I have friends with depression and it certainly helped me understand them much better.  I realised how incredibly unhelpful most people’s comments are when you’re depressed – you really have to have been there yourself to have any idea.

I also remember re-reading the account of Katniss’s depression near the end of “Mockingjay” and my understanding of it was so much greater once I’d been there myself.  Previously it had seemed strangely different to the rest of the writing – patchy, scant detail, almost like an out-of-body experience – but that’s exactly it.  You’re not in your “right mind” when depressed - things don’t make sense or matter, time feels out of sync, etc. - and that passage could only have been written so effectively by someone that’s been there.  Hopefully my experience will make me a better writer when I deal with issues like that (especially in the young adult fiction I want to try my hand at), as well having made me a more empathetic person generally.

Thankfully the depression is no longer a daily problem that cripples me in the way it did but I still have low days and still struggle on and off with the issues that contributed to it.  I feel cross and frustrated on the days when they rear their ugly heads again but the best way I can deal with them is to try to treat them as yet another learning experience that helps me better understand all the various shades of life.  As I face difficulties with a sense of belonging, choices, wanting things I can’t have, etc. I grow personally, gain a whole heap of insights and ideas and hopefully am able to write more authentically.

So, that was 2012 but what about 2013?  I believe God’s said it’ll be a much more steady year (phew!) and a year of breakthrough (yay!).  I don’t necessarily want an easy one – how would I learn, lol?!! – but I’ll take that!!  I’d love to see breakthrough manifested in so many different ways, but becoming a published writer would be one particularly amazing way, please ;-)

The Trials of Winter Writing

On a different note to usual, here’s something very important I’ve learnt in the last few weeks.  Writing when it’s cold is hard work, especially when your fingers start to stiffen with the first signs of hypothermia!  If you don’t want to turn the heating on then here’s my advice (true for anyone working at home – or in a cold office, I guess – not just writers!):

(1) buy a slanket (worth every penny) - http://www.slanket.co.uk/

(2) wear fingerless gloves (often they’re not thumb-less though so why not make your own – these are very simple http://a-friend-to-knit-with.blogspot.co.uk/2008/09/toasttoasty.html and these are the more fancy ones in the photo http://www.orangellous.com/cdn/files/patterns/vancouver_fog.pdf )

(3) type fast to keep your fingers warm

(4) if you can’t do number 3 coz the muse is taking a break or you need some thinking time, then have a hot drink in front of you to use as a handwarmer!

Bring it on December!

On Friday, I hit my word count for November.  Good job too seeing as it was the last day of the month!  But I was SO chuffed to achieve that goal, especially as my experience of writing over the last couple of years has been predominantly wishful thinking rather than achievement.

Now I’m looking ahead to my next goal - 30,000 words (or a finished first draft of similar length) by the end of December.  I can already sense that this is going to be more of a challenge – as a new challenge always should be, I guess, otherwise it’s fairly pointless and should be called something else!!  

The last month has been easy writing in many ways.  Some of the time I’ve written individual scenes that have been working themselves out in my head for weeks.  Often I’ve sat down and just seen where a conversation or idea has taken me.

This month’s writing will need me to draw those elements and scenes together into a coherent, progressive story with realistic motivations, causes and effects.  I’m sure that I’m going to be saying “ah, that doesn’t work” more than a few times and have to go back and rework details that I’ve written previously, so that they are logical and credible.  But hopefully I’m also going to come up with new ideas that will get worked through the manuscript to make it stronger too.

In some ways this task daunts me.  How well a story hangs together is fundamentally important to its success.  I’m the first to spot and be highly irritated by discrepancies in storytelling, so I hope I can be as aware and analytical of my own writing.  

At the same time, I can’t wait to have a finished first draft (even if it still needs weeks/months of editing after that) and am so excited about the prospect of drawing my ideas together to ensure they form a fantastic well-developed tale!  My life isn’t simply a series of individual random scenes, but a joined up meaningful whole - even if I don’t always have the benefit of the author’s perspective on all the links.  My story needs to be just as authentic, which won’t be simple.  But I'm up for it, bring it on!