Rejection and Re-evaluation

SO sorry for the loooong delay in posting on this blog.  I spent December travelling around Australia and New Zealand which was amazing but very distracting :-)  My lack of blogging is symptomatic of my lack of writing in general, both of which I’m attempting to get back on course now I’ve had to return to “real” life!

I haven’t told you this yet, but I submitted B4 (my kids’ book) to three agents back in October.

It was one of the most scary things I’ve ever done.  My heart raced for several hours and I felt nauseous.

It was hard work too.  Making sure the first few chapters of the manuscript were as polished as possible was only the first step and that was a long first step!  A manuscript will never feel completely finished and perfect, so deciding when it was good enough and time to stop tweaking was tough.  On top of that I then had to write a synopsis (always easier said than done) and a covering letter. 

For one agent I had to submit a CV as well.  Seriously?!  I haven't updated my CV for years so it took aaaages.  I was suddenly more relieved than I’ve ever been to be able to say that I have a degree in English Lit and Lang - hopefully it gives me a little writerly kudos!

The first agent took just over a week to reply...with a rejection.  Allegedly rejections are a “badge of honour” for writers.  I don’t quite get it.  The only positive thing about a rejection is it shows that I actually managed to complete a manuscript and submit it. It hurts your ego, hopes and dreams for a time.  That’s only natural.

Bizarrely though, I found myself feeling seriously relieved too.  Eh? I thought.  Then it dawned on me that if an agent was interested in B4 and picked it up, I would probably be writing it for the next 3-5 years, as it’s the first of a potential series.  Much as I love Ben and Ned – and I do! – I’m keen to try my hand at other writing too, notably YA fiction and screenwriting.  I realised that I wasn’t ready to get swept up in the rollercoaster of publication for this book and its sequels just yet.

Still I had two more agents to wait to hear back from and I was torn between wanting a yes (for my ego and to further the dream) and a no (so I gained time to write some different stuff before pushing on with B4).

The second rejection came a couple of weeks later.  I was truly relieved about that one, as it was from a big agency that frankly felt too big and impersonal for me.  However, it was a painful rejection and very differently worded to the first one I’d had. They “unfortunately…did not feel enthusiastic enough about it [B4] to take this further.”  Ouch!  That just says “we don’t like your work” or “it’s rubbish”.  Much more personal and critical.  And crushing.

I was fascinated by the difference in rejection messages.  The first rejection had come from the agent who I’d always figured that they’d either be my best bet (coz they represent the writer of another kids series, the one I’d used as a bit of a benchmark for B4) or my worst bet (coz they already had that area on their list covered and didn’t want anyone similar).

Their rejection said that they had “decided it is not quite right for our list but we wish you all the very best in placing elsewhere.”  Nice gentle let down.  As well as massively revelatory about the world of agents.

When you submit to an agent, they are naturally gonna look at whether or not you’re a good writer and can tell a story well.  But there’s way more to it than that.  Agents are business people, looking for clients that will make them money.  They don’t just want any old good writer on their lists, but are looking to specialise in certain areas or fill any gaps in their current list.  Even if you’re a great writer with a fantastic story, you may get rejected many times until you find the agent who really “gets” you and your story, and whose list you’ll fit into.

Without a crystal ball, you just have to keep submitting to agents, stacking up the rejections (sorry, badges of honour) and hope that you find “the right one” one day.

The third rejection – yes, I got three nos – took ages to come, longer than the company’s stated response time.  Perhaps I should have rejected them on that basis?!  By this time I didn’t mind if it was a yes, as I’d already progressed well with my YA writing.  Their let-down was encouraging and kind though – “I did not feel it would be right for my list and therefore I am unable to offer you representation.  I am sorry not to be writing with better news, but I hope this response will not discourage you. I wish you all the best with your writing.” 

Even if that is just what she says to everyone, I definitely preferred receiving it to the second agent’s brush-off.  I’d happily submit future work to this agent (and possibly the first), but I won’t be sending anything to the second agent ever again!

So, what’s the future for B4 now?  I’m putting it aside for the moment - not because I'm demoralised but in order to focus on the other areas of writing I’ve mentioned.  I’m already aware of some revisions I want to do on it though – making it more bouncy and pacey, tweaking a couple of plot details – and I’ll attempt that sometime later this year.  Then I’ll probably submit to more agents and perhaps look to enter it in some competitions.  And toughen myself up in preparation for future rejections...