Why Are You Here?

When there's a better place to be?!

My wonderful new blog can now be found at www.onceuponamel.com  The good stuff here will remain, but the new posts on that should be even more useful, thought-provoking and interesting.  Why not come and decide for yourself if they are? :-)

Quick Update...Long Time Coming

Some of you may have noticed that I haven’t posted on here for…*ahem*…awhile.  Don’t let that deceive you into thinking that my writing journey has ground to a halt.  Oh no no no!!  That could not be further from the truth :-)  I’ve actually become so obsessed with my writing that there’s been little time for anything else, including blogging.

Over the last two months I’ve been working my little fingers off, writing a restructured draft of CAF (still its codename – it’s real name is too good and stealable to put out in the public domain yet!).  To say I’ve loved nearly every minute of the writing and am incredibly pleased with what is technically still a first draft, would be an understatement!

SO much has been happening, but that’s all I’m telling you for now!  In a couple of weeks this blog will be relaunched in its new home (aka website of its own).  Watch this space…

Learning To Write Betterer!

Apologies for the lack of blogging again recently!  It doesn’t mean nothing’s been happening on my writing journey.  Quite the opposite, in fact – I’ve taken some sizeable steps along it.

Kinda bizarrely for an unpaid “job”, I’ve been really busy writing in the last few weeks to meet certain deadlines.  The first was for a competition at a writing conference I’m going to in June.  Despite the fact that there were a couple of competitions I could have entered B4 (kids’ book codename) into, it was the Feature Article one that caught my eye – “Never Give Up!  Never Surrender!  How to keep writing in the face of rejection!” 

Yay, I could put last year’s agent rejections to good use, I thought :-)  A coherent theme for the article popped into my head and off I went.  I’ll find out how I did at the end of June, but it reminded me how much I love writing factual stuff and I’ll be looking for future opportunities to do that too.

The other deadline was for agent submissions for the same conference (Winchester Writers’ Festival).  As well as the fact there’s gonna be three-days worth of amazing talks and workshops, as part of the package you also get five 15-minute appointments with agents and authors.  A-ma-zing!  Usually when you submit your work to agents, you get zilcho feedback.  Criticism and insight from 5 different voices in the publishing world would have been worth the course fee alone.

Mostly the agents I chose wanted the first 2,000 words of a manuscript, plus covering letter and synopsis.  I didn’t fancy submitting CAF (YA story codename) to all 5, especially as there’s likely to be some overlap with their comments, so I got B4 out of the drawer, dusted it off and tweaked the opening chapters.  Simples!

Less simple was preparing the first chapter of CAF.  First chapters are notoriously difficult to write and most writers make significant changes to them once they’ve finished drafting the whole book, or often even cut them altogether, starting further into the story or completely re-writing the beginning.

As I haven’t finished a full first draft yet, this was a big challenge, but ended up being fantastic for my editing skills and the plotting for the whole story.  It forced me to carefully consider what the most important aspects of the story were.  I also had to more thoroughly develop the backstory, so that what we first experience of the characters and where they are at the opening moment is consistent with what’s happened to them previously. 

As a unpublished writer, there are rarely any deadlines, so this was an unusual time for me.  Having to polish your work to competition and submission standard – especially when realistically you’re mid vomit draft with your writing – was a big gear change, but a hugely productive and useful one.  I’ll let you know how I get on in a few weeks’ time when I go face-to-face with these scary lions of the publishing industry!!

The conference itself is something I’ll definitely be blogging about when it happens, but it has been an integral part of important decision making about the future of my writing journey in the last few months. 

Conferences and courses for writers always seemed a strange thing to me.  I used to think that you were either a good writer or you weren’t.  Most people can put one word after another, and some just do it better than others.  Can you learn to write betterer?  ;-)  Plus, I believed (and still do) that while great writing must be well constructed and plotted, it also has an extra spark that you just can’t be taught how to create. 

I was gobsmacked to first discover that you could do a MA in Creative Writing.  MAs were for serious academic study, surely, not just learning how to put words on a page more efficiently.  And how on earth could they teach you how to include that essential (to me anyway) spark?  I've come to appreciate that there is a huge amount to learn about the craft of writing and recognise that MAs are well respected by many in the publishing industry.  So I started to consider doing one.

“We are all apprentices in a craft where no one ever becomes a master.”  Ernest Hemingway

I went along to the University’s post-grad open evening and it sounded great, but I always weigh up the cost benefit of everything (and my husband is even worse!).  At £6,000 it wasn’t cheap (!), but would it be worth it?  Would it develop my work so that I stood the best chance of getting published? 

It was the Arvon course I did last year and the prospect of the Winchester conference that nailed my decision.

I knew the MA, most importantly, would give me kudos with certain people and possibly open some doors that wouldn’t otherwise be opened to me.  I also knew that I would learn tons and make lots of good contacts.  However, compared to what I could learn, and the contacts I could make, at the number of other courses and conferences I could attend for the same money, it was a poor pay-off.  Could it provide the same benefit as nearly 8 Arvon courses or 20 Winchester conferences?  I don’t think so.

That’s not to say it’s not a good course and right for other people to do!  Everyone’s temperament and way of learning are different.  I’d love to do – and, if I’m honest, to say I have – an MA, but it just won’t progress my writing journey in the way I want it to.  So I’ll just keep carving my own flexible unique path…and document it here for anyone interested in the adventure ;-)

The Perfect Job

Have I ever told you that I love my "job"? I mean, I really love love LOVE my job!!

How many people can say that?

Writing is the most perfect job imaginable for me. I love playing with words - choosing the right ones to communicate in the most effective and accurate way, playing with various combinations, musing over the different effects they might have on a reader. The same message can be phrased in many ways, each one eliciting a slightly different response from a reader.

All my life I've loved making up conversations and playing out scenarios in my head.  Screenwriter James Moran has said that writers are the most paranoid people on the planet because we’re always imagining the consequences of “what if” situations – e.g. standing waiting for a train and wondering what could happen if you or someone else got pushed onto the tracks.  Lol :-)  That’s how stories are birthed!  I’m not that paranoid (yet!), but I do love working out all the possibilities and outcomes of a situation or premise.  When you find the one that really works it's a very satisfying epiphany moment!

I’m an information vulture too and love research, another essential part of writing. A couple of weeks, despite being 40,000 words into my YA story, I still hadn't quite sussed where it was set.  I knew it happened out in space, but didn't know exactly where.  As there were a myriad options, I had to get on and pin it down.

So, I snuggled up with Brian Cox's Solar System book and began browsing for inspiration.  What an incredible solar system we live in!  A gazillion beautiful, wonderful and mysterious things. So many possibilities for a writer.  And in the midst of it all, I found my setting.  No, I'm not gonna be more specific than that!  A better and faster writer than me might happen to read this, nick off with my idea and get it published before I do!!  But, suffice to say, it's an amazing setting and I'm SO excited about writing about it.  Plenty more research needed though, yay :-)

People fascinate me too!  If I’d had better career’s advice at school then I might have studied Psychology at uni rather than English Lit and Lang.  I love trying to work out what makes people tick, not that I claim to always/often/ever get it right.  Why do they do – or not do – certain things?  Why do they say – or, more interestingly to me (and drama!), not say – certain things?!  Why do they make the choices they make?  Understanding a character’s personality, background and motivation is essential in making them believable and realistically complex.

For a reformed control freak like myself, writing provides a wonderful opportunity for the remnant of that characteristic to exercise itself in a positive way.  When I was pregnant with my kids, I thought it was awesome to be part of creating a new life. Naming them was a huge privilege. Now I get to do that sort of stuff on an almost daily basis - creating characters, naming (and sometimes renaming) them, deciding what happens to them!  I can base them on real people (names can be changed to protect the innocent…or at least to avoid being sued!), emphasising positive or negative character traits, as I wish.  I can also write scenes that have their basis in reality, tweaking them to produce a more satisfactory outcome, which can be incredibly therapeutic and fun :-)

It's like playing God…on a small scale. But even on a small scale it feels like a serious responsibility to get things right and it can be hard work - almost headache inducing - holding the characters and events together. I'm glad I'm not God!

Loving writing SO much is essential in order to push on through the tough days - when the words that are coming out aren’t brilliant or when my inner critic is shouting me down so loudly it’s almost deafening (more on that next time).  I hope that one day writing will pay and I’ll be able to count it as my “proper” job!  But whether it does or not, I know I’m always gonna write…just because I love it and it suits me more than anything else I could do with my time and energy.

Do you love your job?  If not, what would you really love to do?

Creating Space - Frustration to Inspiration

A few weeks ago I was feeling super frustrated about my lack of writing. Not having the time or mental space while we were Down Under was understandable, but I still hadn’t put more than a handful of words on paper for two months since then.

Fortunately I'm pretty pragmatic, so I started racking my brains to work out if there were any practical steps I could take (apart from just putting one word after another on the page and ignoring the inner critic who was having a field day with me at that point!).

Around this time I realised that every time I saw a picture of a writer’s working space, the green eyed monster would come and perch on my shoulder and dig its claws in. A simple desk with a notice board above it, like this one of D. Savannah George’s could set me off…

http://nowastedink.com/2012/07/13/guest-post-writing-space-d-savannah-george/

…but it’s always Roald Dahl’s cute writing hut approached by this lovely avenue of trees that would really get me weeping.  I would skip to “work” every single day if I had somewhere like that to write!

Photo copyright David Sillitoe (http://www.theguardian.com/travel/2006/aug/26/familyholidays.culture)

Up until now, I always worked on our large dining room table and struggled to figure out how I could change that. Having recently, almost accidentally, moved to one of the most overpriced areas outside London, our house is a tad more modest than we've been used to and there’s no spare space in it. Having a garden room built at the bottom of the garden was a dream I'd started regularly entertaining, but one that seemed completely unjustifiable at least until something of mine has been published. Not about to happen any time soon. And even less likely to happen if I’m not writing anything.

I need space!  Physical space (perhaps coz I suffer mildly from claustrophobia) but also mental space coz I'm an introvert who gets energised best when I'm in my own little world :-) 

Finally I decided that if I couldn't work out in the garden, the next best thing was going to be the bay window in my bedroom, overlooking the garden.   There wasn’t any space in it, but I realised that with a bit of moving things around - primarily swapping an armchair for a small table - I could create my very own writing space. 

It might only be about a square metre in size, but it's a great start! The view is fabulous and will only get better as plants start to spring into life over the coming weeks. I can leave my notes out on the desk, rather than having to tidy them away so we can eat dinner. There's a drawer to keep things all together in one place, so I stand a better chance of finding random notes-to-self again, and a small column of wall to stick up things to inspire and encourage me.

Small changes can have a big impact.

Since creating this space a month ago, I've written thousands of words.  It's SO exciting!  I love spending time there.  As it’s solely dedicated to writing, nothing else distracts me and I can get totally lost in what I'm creating.  Which isn’t always a good thing if you forget to eat, drink or pick up your kids from school (oops!) :-)

As I gaze up the garden (in between typing, or sometimes even while typing), enjoying the beauty, majesty and intricate detail of creation, it energises and inspires me massively.  But my gaze always carries on, right to the bottom corner of the garden, as I dream about the purpose built studio (with desk, sofa and wood-burner!) that might be there one day!

Words and Music

It was listening to screenwriter James Moran last year at a conference that I first came across the idea of creating playlists to aid the writing process.  It was one of those so-blindingly-obvious-why-have-I-never-thought-of-it-before moments.

There are mountains of articles and studies about how music affects our brains and emotions, and how it can aid creativity. 

And films have soundtracks.  Lots of TV programmes too.  The right piece of music at the right moment can take a drama to a whole new level.  While it's obvious that you add music to improve something after it's been written/filmed, using it to inspire the process had never occurred to me, even though I was aware of songs that had already triggered feelings and ideas for my book.

I guess there are two key reasons why I hadn’t thought of it before.  The first, and most important, is that I need quiet in order to write!!  If music is playing while I’m trying to concentrate then I just can’t.  I’m so interested in lyrics that my ears pull my brain away from the task in hand – I want to listen to them and figure out what they mean, what they’re saying.  There’s no spare mental capacity left to write at that point ;-)

The second reason is that it seems kinda arrogant to create your own playlist, to take on a highly responsible and influential creative media role that you’re not officially qualified for and choose the soundtrack for your own movie/book/programme.  But do you know what?  That’s why it’s such a flipping marvellous idea!!! 

Writers have no control over how the industry will respond to their work.  Will the script (for film or TV) be made?  Will the book be published?  Could it subsequently be made into a film?  Even if the answer to all those questions is “yes”, it’s unlikely that anyone’s ever gonna ask the writer for their input with the soundtrack.

But all is not lost!  We can, at the very least, have a bit of fun and put together our own soundtrack.  We can pretend we have a level of control and influence.  We can choose whatever we like, whatever inspires us, and not have to consider how the target audience might feel about it.  We can select the artists of our own choosing, regardless of whether or not we could ever afford them or have the clout to commission them to write something to accompany our work.

James Moran has extensive playlists for everything he writes (70 songs in just one playlist he says in step 5 if you go to the blog link - it's a very long post, be warned), as well as extra playlists to psyche him up for meetings and other stuff.  He’s definitely much more into his music than I am!

But I have found it useful to tinker around a bit in Spotify and throw a few songs that capture the feeling of my book into a playlist.  To be honest, there’s one key song in there that encapsulates the story and the emotions of the book almost entirely.  A playlist of one song is a bit sad though, so I’ve included a few more for a bit of additional variety and depth.  And it’s always just plain fun to collect together things you like.

I can’t, and therefore don’t, listen to the playlist while I’m writing.  But I do put it on now and again to remind myself – mentally and emotionally - of where I want to go with the story in the future and to measure what I’ve written recently against that.  It helps me to “feel” the story, if that makes any sense.

Soundtracks can also help with writer’s block, as Lucy Christopher told us last year on the Arvon course.  When she was really stuck with “The Killing Woods”, as well as walking more in her nearby woods (which provide its setting and inspiration), she got musician friends of hers to write some songs capturing the feel of the story.  Their music helped her push through and complete the book.

I’m not scientific.  I have no understanding of exactly how music can affect our minds and emotions so strongly.  But I know that it does.  I also know that listening to music is highly pleasurable.  AND I know that writers need all the help they can get to push through and write their stories.  So playlists in my writing life are here to stay!

Music can be a powerful influence.  Use it wisely!

Gaining Wisdom From Experience (and Being Starstruck!)

Whatever area of life you want to excel at – creative, mental, physical, spiritual - it can be super helpful to get advice, hints, tips and motivation from people who are ahead of you on the journey.

As I’ve mentioned before, Cressida Cowell is one of my writing heroines, so I was very excited to discover that she was doing a talk (with her friend and fellow successful author, Lauren Child) as part of the Imagine Children’s Festival when we were down in London recently.

It was really enjoyable and full of helpful writing insights and advice.  It was also easy to feel inferior, inept and ineffective :-/  Both Cressida and Lauren are so much further along the path that I want to go down.  Rather than being jealous of their success though, I think I was more jealous of the amount they’ve been able to write.  I can’t change the fact that I’ve let my writing dream slumber for so long and I can never guarantee how much success I might have, but at least I can do something about writing as much as I possibly can from now on.

There’s a lot of life situations where it’s possible to be discouraged and encouraged simultaneously.  It’s up to us to decide which emotion we’re gonna let preside and determine our course of action.  I’ve been battling for weeks with discouragement and so I’m making a conscious determined effort to focus on the encouraging provocation of their talk.

My favourite nuggets of information/inspiration were:

- don’t necessarily listen to advice from “experts”.  Lauren was advised by some tutors not to write humour, as she wasn’t funny (she writes humour, for those of you who haven’t come across Charlie & Lola, Clarice Bean or Ruby Redfort).

- failure is an important part of success.  It makes you more determined and persistent.

- persistence is essential in the writing business.  You can learn it first from agent rejections! 

- writing is about *feeling*.  Channel those feelings and memories that you felt deeply as a child.

- a great hero needs a great journey!

I learnt some practical and professional lessons too at the book signing afterwards (stored for future reference, just in case I ever get to the point of doing an author’s book signing one day!).  Cressida asked each person if they had a question, while she was signing their books – a great idea for kids who are feeling a bit shy about asking something.  She chatted away and had a photo with everyone who wanted one.  It meant the queue took a longer time to go down, but everyone felt that they got some special time with her, rather than being rushed through on a book signing conveyor belt.

J and I got our photo with her, naturally.  It always feels a bit cheesy, but I was keen to rub up against her arm and hope that some of her writing genius and success rubbed off onto me :-)

It isn't just at talks and face-to-face events that you can benefit from the wisdom and encouragement of potential role models.  Books, videos, Twitter, Facebook, blogs, etc. provide a myriad opportunities to access it too.  Just make sure that you choose the people you listen to wisely, especially if you’re going to be letting them influence your life in any way!

Rejection Reality

I had very little idea when I started on my writing journey, how pertinent a metaphor “journey” was actually going to be.

As I trundle along, I constantly discover twists and turns, as well as the fact that a point which looks kinda close is actually a helluva lot further away than it seems.  Sometimes the road is smooth (like with my writing surge last November) and sometimes it’s bumpy (like with the agent rejections, or the frequent discouraging thoughts that tell me I’m a crap writer and there’s no point bothering).

After posting my last blog, I started wondering how many people would feel sorry for me because of the rejections, or think that I’m obviously not a “good enough” writer to get published (which may be true!). 

A lot of people have the impression that you write a book and then get it published.  That couldn’t be further from the truth.  Writing is a very loooooong path, with a gazillion more hurdles than you would ever imagine.  I’ve blogged about various ones in the past, will undoubtedly blog about more in the future, but for now I just wanted to bring some perspective to my agent rejections.

Being rejected is a completely normal - even expected - experience for a writer. 

The fact that JK Rowling was rejected by TWELVE publishers before one accepted Harry Potter is quite well-known.  Apparently many of them felt that boarding school stories were old hat!  I’ve often wondered how those editors live with themselves!  It’s gotta be pretty gutting to know you passed up on one of the biggest literary phenomena ever :-/

I also found out last week that although Roald Dahl’s “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory” was published in America in 1964, it took 3 more years to convince a UK publisher to take it on.  You'd have to be blind or illiterate not to see how amazing that story is, surely?!

A friend of mine was accepted by an agent last year, having had about 8 rejections before that.  The thing that really opened my eyes in this situation was that he knew, or had at least met, all/most of those agents.  I’m sure that with that extra level of knowledge and connection (which I don’t have), he would have first approached the ones he felt would best like his books and be the right fit relationally to work with.  Yet it STILL took several attempts to find the “one”.

Submitting your work to an agent isn’t like applying for a job.  It’s like sending a speculative application to a company you want to work for, without having much of an idea whether or not they’re wanting to take on someone like you at that moment (or ever!).

Taking the right story, at the right time, to the right person, is an incredible hurdle and one that writers are usually not aware of when they first start writing.  There are so many people trying to do it too, that agents are often overwhelmed by manuscripts.

It could be massively off-putting.  Some days it IS massively off-putting.  But it cannot stop me, you or anyone else who dreams of being a writer to stop writing (or not to start).  As I was so fantastically reminded by this timely blog post from Jeff Goins a few weeks ago, writers shouldn't write to be published.  We have to just write for the love of writing.  If we do that, then what comes out of our fingers and imaginations is likely to be worth reading…and therefore publishing.  If we write to be published then we’ll be listening more to the crowd and less to the Muse, and will be constrained by real and imagined factors.  Our work won’t have the spark, vibrancy and originality it should.  And it definitely won’t be a fun experience.

So, I’m gonna keep on writing, just for the sheer enjoyment of it…and no number of rejections are going to stop me.  I might need to develop and improve my writing ability.  I might need to write a different story, in a different genre, for a different audience.  But perhaps one day, just perhaps, I might successfully jump the agent hurdle, negotiate the publisher obstacle, and you’ll be able to read some of the work I’ll have been blogging about for years :-)

Rejection and Re-evaluation

SO sorry for the loooong delay in posting on this blog.  I spent December travelling around Australia and New Zealand which was amazing but very distracting :-)  My lack of blogging is symptomatic of my lack of writing in general, both of which I’m attempting to get back on course now I’ve had to return to “real” life!

I haven’t told you this yet, but I submitted B4 (my kids’ book) to three agents back in October.

It was one of the most scary things I’ve ever done.  My heart raced for several hours and I felt nauseous.

It was hard work too.  Making sure the first few chapters of the manuscript were as polished as possible was only the first step and that was a long first step!  A manuscript will never feel completely finished and perfect, so deciding when it was good enough and time to stop tweaking was tough.  On top of that I then had to write a synopsis (always easier said than done) and a covering letter. 

For one agent I had to submit a CV as well.  Seriously?!  I haven't updated my CV for years so it took aaaages.  I was suddenly more relieved than I’ve ever been to be able to say that I have a degree in English Lit and Lang - hopefully it gives me a little writerly kudos!

The first agent took just over a week to reply...with a rejection.  Allegedly rejections are a “badge of honour” for writers.  I don’t quite get it.  The only positive thing about a rejection is it shows that I actually managed to complete a manuscript and submit it. It hurts your ego, hopes and dreams for a time.  That’s only natural.

Bizarrely though, I found myself feeling seriously relieved too.  Eh? I thought.  Then it dawned on me that if an agent was interested in B4 and picked it up, I would probably be writing it for the next 3-5 years, as it’s the first of a potential series.  Much as I love Ben and Ned – and I do! – I’m keen to try my hand at other writing too, notably YA fiction and screenwriting.  I realised that I wasn’t ready to get swept up in the rollercoaster of publication for this book and its sequels just yet.

Still I had two more agents to wait to hear back from and I was torn between wanting a yes (for my ego and to further the dream) and a no (so I gained time to write some different stuff before pushing on with B4).

The second rejection came a couple of weeks later.  I was truly relieved about that one, as it was from a big agency that frankly felt too big and impersonal for me.  However, it was a painful rejection and very differently worded to the first one I’d had. They “unfortunately…did not feel enthusiastic enough about it [B4] to take this further.”  Ouch!  That just says “we don’t like your work” or “it’s rubbish”.  Much more personal and critical.  And crushing.

I was fascinated by the difference in rejection messages.  The first rejection had come from the agent who I’d always figured that they’d either be my best bet (coz they represent the writer of another kids series, the one I’d used as a bit of a benchmark for B4) or my worst bet (coz they already had that area on their list covered and didn’t want anyone similar).

Their rejection said that they had “decided it is not quite right for our list but we wish you all the very best in placing elsewhere.”  Nice gentle let down.  As well as massively revelatory about the world of agents.

When you submit to an agent, they are naturally gonna look at whether or not you’re a good writer and can tell a story well.  But there’s way more to it than that.  Agents are business people, looking for clients that will make them money.  They don’t just want any old good writer on their lists, but are looking to specialise in certain areas or fill any gaps in their current list.  Even if you’re a great writer with a fantastic story, you may get rejected many times until you find the agent who really “gets” you and your story, and whose list you’ll fit into.

Without a crystal ball, you just have to keep submitting to agents, stacking up the rejections (sorry, badges of honour) and hope that you find “the right one” one day.

The third rejection – yes, I got three nos – took ages to come, longer than the company’s stated response time.  Perhaps I should have rejected them on that basis?!  By this time I didn’t mind if it was a yes, as I’d already progressed well with my YA writing.  Their let-down was encouraging and kind though – “I did not feel it would be right for my list and therefore I am unable to offer you representation.  I am sorry not to be writing with better news, but I hope this response will not discourage you. I wish you all the best with your writing.” 

Even if that is just what she says to everyone, I definitely preferred receiving it to the second agent’s brush-off.  I’d happily submit future work to this agent (and possibly the first), but I won’t be sending anything to the second agent ever again!

So, what’s the future for B4 now?  I’m putting it aside for the moment - not because I'm demoralised but in order to focus on the other areas of writing I’ve mentioned.  I’m already aware of some revisions I want to do on it though – making it more bouncy and pacey, tweaking a couple of plot details – and I’ll attempt that sometime later this year.  Then I’ll probably submit to more agents and perhaps look to enter it in some competitions.  And toughen myself up in preparation for future rejections...