I’ve recently had my most popular status on Facebook and it was all about farts. Or rather what they could be called instead of “fart”. Who knew that it would grab so many people’s attention and interest?!
Here’s why I did it (aside from the fact that it was serious fun and I might just have to do it again for no good reason!). Jeannie’s feedback on my manuscript was really encouraging– which I wasn’t expecting as I’d started to convince myself it was complete rubbish (very common for writers to swing between “this is great” and “this is tosh” with their work, often within the same 10 minute period). However, one seemingly small, but actually massive, thing she flagged up was my use of “whizz” as the codeword my two main characters use for “fart”.
It’s American for “pee”, which I guess I knew but had conveniently forgotten. Now who knows whether or not this book will ever get published but, just in case it does, it makes sense to smooth its path to being published globally as well and avoid obvious pitfalls like that from the start.
The BIG problem is that “whizz” is used a lot in the book, when they’re discussing farts. Plus Ben (the lead character) is a runner, so it plays on the idea that running fast could also be described as whizzing (it makes sense when you read the book – at least I hope it does!). Any alternative word has to nicely fit both uses, so what on earth could be an appropriate substitute?!
Disheartened I turned to my friends for help. And what a wonderful crazy wave of creativity I was met with!!! No less than 54 inspired suggestions :-)
I was then faced with the new problem of selecting the right one! “Fluff” was my initial favourite (thank you Natalie and others) until I realised that it’s quite common for ladies to use that term for farting anyway. Next I loved “traf” (thank you Jodie), especially as kids think it’s fun to spell words backwards. I told Jeannie about this change and she asked if I’d googled it to check it out.
Oh. My. Goodness. Thence began an Urban Dictionary education I wish I hadn’t needed to have. I do have to be thorough, especially with a kids’ book, so it is a necessary evil! Right, I’m not using “traf” then :-(
Okay, I’ll change “fluff” to “floof” I thought. That’s a completely made up word. Apparently not. It’s slang for ladies’ bits. Great.
I checked out “flump” and “gurgler” (thanks Tom) before despairing completely. What is the world coming to? Has every word been corrupted and got a dodgy alternative meaning??
Just before I chucked the whole manuscript in the bin, thankfully inspiration came to me in a swoosh. And “swoosh” it almost was, but it's not completely perfect on the Urban Dictionary and Nike might take issue. However, I think I can get away with “whoosh”. Similar onomatopoeia to “whizz”, but with no majorly dodgy connotations (that I’ve managed to find so far, anyway).
I’ve tweaked the scene where Ben and Ned discuss what to
call his farts and it’s even funnier and richer now thanks to the inclusion of
some of your suggestions. If the book
gets published as a series (my ultimate hope!) then I’ll be able to incorporate
more of these crazy and wonderful words in the future (subject to the Urban
Dictionary test). If you provided any of
these ideas then THANK YOU!! I may not
have used your exact suggestions as my replacement word but your creativity
fuelled my creativity. It was a real
pleasure to have you involved in part of my writing journey too - feel free to
join in again sometime :-)
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