The Vomit Draft

Too many people don’t start writing – or give up on their writing – because they think that what comes out won’t be “good enough” or what they do manage to get onto paper or screen isn’t quite what they expected.  But here’s a massive writerly not-such-a-secret.  The first draft is usually crap!

I initially became aware of “Shitty First Drafts” thanks to Anne Lamott in her excellent book on writing “Bird By Bird”.  This idea was reinforced at Swanwick this year when James Moran (a successful screenwriter) talked about Draft Zero or the Vomit Draft.  Melvin Burgess at Arvon, also referred to a similar phenomenon.

What comes out when you first start writing a book is just raw material.  But it’s essential to get it out, so that it’s there, ready to be crafted and improved.  “Shitty first drafts” is an obvious expression, but James Moran’s Draft Zero is all the more revealing and informative.  The first draft is often so awful that it can’t even be counted as a first draft.  Draft Zero is for no one’s eyes other than your own.  The first draft usually isn’t either.

The analogy I use when thinking about my writing process is comparing it to making a clay pot.  The first draft is just throwing a lump of clay on the potter’s wheel.  The second draft is when it starts to take some shape.  Subsequent drafts add more detail and definition.

And the Vomit Draft.  Sounds a bit gross, right?  I’ll try not to take the analogy too far, in case you’re feeling a bit queasy :-)  Basically, it means you just spew out the story, the plot, the events, the characters, without a massive amount of editing or even care, as you go.

You don’t worry if it seems long-winded.  You ignore concerns about it not being the most perfectly formed piece of prose or a short-hand clichéd description.  You just write.  You get the story, the plot, the characters, the action, out onto the page.  Perfecting it comes later…in the endless editing.

Having finished B4 and started submitting it to agents (more on that next time), in the last month I’ve found myself writing the vomit draft for a new story.  Despite to-ing and fro-ing over several weeks about which YA story to pursue, I have finally settled on CAF.  Wanting to use what I learnt on the Arvon course to the max and realising that CAF is a massive story (potentially trilogy), I was keen to crack on with it as quickly as possible.  So, seeing as it was perfect timing, I decided to use the principles of November’s National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo) to help me.

The idea of this initiative is exactly that of a vomit draft – you write 50,000 words of a novel in a month (roughly 1,667 words a day).  The emphasis is on quantity, not quality.  You just need to get words on the page.

Choosing an image for this post was challenging - be grateful I settled on this one ;-)

I haven’t done NaNoWriMo officially as I didn’t want to upload my work to the site at the end of the month and I already had 10,000 words of CAF (although I didn’t get going until a few days in, but you’re supposed to start from nothing).  Instead I just set myself the target of writing 1,500 words a day (45,000 words by the end of November).

Now, I’ll be honest with you.  I didn’t think I’d be able to do it.  Not, at least, without having to play massive catch-up on my scheduled writing days.  I was also dubious because there was so much that I still didn’t know about the story, and I’d always felt that I needed to before I could possibly start writing it.

But, do you know what?  It’s been fan-flipping-tastic!  I HAVE written 1,500 most days (and always caught up within a day when I haven’t).  Scenes, characters, relationships and conversations have flowed and developed easily as I’ve typed.  Yesterday, at the official end of NaNoWriMo, I'm stoked to be able to tell you that I have indeed hit my self-imposed target of 45,000 words, hurray :-)

Taking the pressure off myself to write something “good” has been highly beneficial.  Sometimes the prose hasn’t been very good, but sometimes it actually has!  Everything I've written has helped the story progress in my thinking, regardless of whether or not it makes the final cut.  And in that I think I’m a better editor than writer, at least I now have something to work with.

When I stop writing, that is.  Which isn’t gonna be for awhile.  I have a huge amount more to explore in this story and potentially another 200,000+ words to write!  Having had such a positive result with them, I’m going to work to NaNoWriMo targets again in January.  In the words of the great philosopher Dory, I’ll just keep spewing, just keep spewing, spewing, spewing…. ;-)

Awful Arrogant Authors

Talking with and listening to other writers is one of the most valuable and enjoyable things I do on my writing journey.  I’ve already learnt so much from them, even from passing comments or throwaway remarks.

For some reason beyond my logical comprehension, I had an expectation that authors – especially published ones - would be egotistical, superior literary gods who have perfect prose flowing out of their fingertips at the slightest provocation and look down on anyone who isn’t as miraculously gifted.

Having now met a growing number of writers, I haven’t actually met even one awful, arrogant author…yet.  Because we’re not in direct competition, we’re generally nice to and encouraging of each other.  Even if two writers were writing about the same topic, the books they produce will be markedly different, as no one has the exact same voice or viewpoint as anyone else.  Everyone’s work is unique.  Writing is nothing like an exam where there are right answers and we can compare our marks and grades.  Good work sometimes doesn’t get published and bad work sometimes does!

The amazing authors I met at Arvon (not awful or arrogant in the slightest!)

It was when reading an interview with Harlan Coben earlier this year that I discovered that, like me, he swings from thinking his work is great to the next day thinking it sucks.  At Arvon, Lucy Christopher shared how stuck she’d sometimes got while writing “The Killing Woods” and had to walk around the Forest of Dean, as well as get a friend to write some music for her, to release the story.  Also, at Arvon, Meg Rosoff told us that she often gets caught between finishing one book and starting on a new one, with no ideas coming and no obvious way forward, sometimes for weeks (although she more than capably gets there in the end) :-)

Sharing our writerly struggles is unbelievably important.  Writing is a very isolated task – the majority of it done at home, on your own.  I often go whole (school hour) days without talking to anyone.  It’s far too easy to end up thinking that you’re the only person who ever faces certain difficulties or having certain struggles.

Other things we share can be more positive, like recommendations of useful books, courses or conferences.  I was encouraged to find out at Arvon (yes, “at Arvon” will be a repetitive phrase in my blog, definitely for weeks to come, possibly months, perhaps even years!) that my writing process is a lot like Melvin Burgess’s.  When we’re working on the first draft of a book, we both have key scenes in our heads which we write and then start to link them together.  I admire people who can write in a linear way, but that doesn’t appear to be my style and it was great to find out that I’m not completely odd in my preferred method!

Writers can also help you to tap into and understand unconscious thoughts more fully.  At Arvon, Meg Rosoff shared a dressage analogy about resonance - the art of the horse and rider working together in complete unity – and how that is also true in writing, when you suddenly connect with an idea and it starts going full flow, in perfect tune with the story.  It was useful, but one of my course mates, Dale, reiterated it the next day as a surfing analogy, which I understood a lot better having surfed before (but never having done dressage!).

To surf, there’s a lot of preparation, including checking the tide times (finding the right time), but if you’re ever gonna do it you actually have to get into the water.  There can be so many obstacles even when you get there – the wind taking the tops off waves so they’re not that good; it’s too cold to be enjoyable; there are too many people in way to get a good run.  But when you catch THE wave, then the triumph and exhilaration of the ride make it well worth the wait! 

It can be hard to find the right time to write and even when you do, the right words might not come, a character might be difficult or a plot twist not authentic and credible enough.  But on those days when it all starts to flow, wow!  The rest of the world falls away and literary magic happens on the page.  Those days make all the hard slog and the times when you write one word after another on the page just coz you have to worth it.  They are the practice waves that mean you’re there and you’re ready when the big one comes!  I’ve found this image really encouraging and a great motivator to get on and write every day, regardless of how well it goes.

The writing has been going splendiferously well recently though :-)  More on that next time…

Sex, Drugs and Fairytales (more from Arvon!)

Something that had concerned me before going on the Writing for Young Adults Arvon course was the fact it was subtitled “Playing On The Edge”.  My heart sunk when I noticed that (after I’d paid!) and I was convinced that we were gonna be made to write about sex, drugs and rock ‘n’ roll the whole time. 

However, in the Plot workshop, scary Melvin (who wasn’t scary at all, in truth, but a really lovely guy!) got us deconstructing Jack and the Beanstalk by examining the different characters and their roles in the story.  Looking at magic beans and geese that lay golden eggs with the writer of gritty books like “Junk” and “Doing It”?  Who would have ever predicted that!  So much for my concerns :-)

We then had to plot a contemporary story using the plot of another fairytale as its framework.  My group’s reworked version of Snow White meets the Brownlee brothers was surprisingly good and definitely writable.  I was almost tempted to give it a try, but sadly there are other ideas that are calling to me more loudly at the moment.  “Nick a plot!” was Melvin’s brilliant summary advice at the end of the session!

One of the YA stories I’m developing is loosely based on another story and I have ideas about other possibilities too.  It’s a fantastic way to brainstorm plot ideas, even if you don’t end up using them.  If you’re not confident about plotting then it can also ensure that your story has a good structure, with the necessary rise and falls, twists and turns.  Lots of writers do it!

The final workshop of the week on Setting, with Lucy, was probably the most hotly anticipated.  In no way does that belittle the great teaching that Melvin gave us, but setting is difficult.  Lucy is much lauded for her incredible skills at not only bringing settings to life, but even making them an integral part of the story.

Fascinatingly – especially for someone like me, who starts a story with plot or theme ideas – Lucy always starts from the setting and looks for the story in it.  Her first book “Stolen” is set in the Australian Outback, her second “Flyaway” is based on a RSPB nature reserve, and her third book “The Killing Woods” is inspired primarily by the Forest of Dean, near where she lives.

One of my biggest problems with adult literature is how slowly it often moves along, especially when getting bogged down with long-winded description of surroundings.  Consequently, I’d come to the opinion that if a story is full of pace and action then setting needs to be more or less ignored.

Not so!  Done properly, setting can add tremendous depth to the action of a story and not detract from its pace at all.  I’d started to realise this fact when reading Lucy’s books, but it became blindingly obvious during the exercises in this session.  I found the idea of doing sensory sheets before writing a scene particularly useful – thinking about how everything looks, feels, smells, sounds and tastes – to fully embed yourself and your reader in the place.

Some of my fellow writers produced incredible pieces of writing in that session!  I didn’t, although that was because I was still processing this revelation and getting my head around writing in what was a very foreign way for me (being much more into the big picture, rather than the small detail).  However, later that day I applied my newfound skills and awareness to a scene in the story I was working on and was really pleased with what I produced.  So much so, that I was happy to read it out that evening at our end of course celebration evening, rather than run away and get an early train home, which I had seriously been considering doing up until that point!!

This learning was consolidated a couple of days later when I was on a long car journey with my family and we were listening to an Alex Rider audiobook.  With everything I’d learnt still prominent in my mind, I was paying close attention to the writing, as well as the story.  Alex always has a tumultuous roller-coaster ride of a time in these books and so I’d naturally assumed that there’d be little in the way of setting and description, as that would slow down the pace.

To my mahoosive surprise, I was wrong again!  Anthony Horowitz is a master of setting and description!!  The amount of detail he includes is amazing, yet it doesn’t disconnect you from the action, like it so easily could do, but actually takes you deeper into it.  My ears were just sucking it all in and I learnt a huge amount more.

Now I just have to translate all that learning into my own writing!

White Stilettos and Nappy Nights

The most concentrated learning on my Arvon course naturally took place in the 3-hour morning workshops.  It was the opportunity to have successful and world-renowned writers like Melvin Burgess and Lucy Christopher as tutors that had originally attracted me to this course.  Far from disappointing my high expectations, they were exceptional in their teaching, encouragement and the incredible amount of time and energy they gave to us all in many different ways.  Gushing hyperbole again – I apologise but, in my defence, it’s entirely justified!

Workshop time (with thanks to Dorthe Andersen)

An essential aspect in most of our learning was re-connecting with our teen self, so that our written teen voice could be as authentic as possible.  Although adults write YA, you can’t let your “adult” voice speak.  The narrative has to sound like a teenager is speaking, especially if you’re writing in the 1^st person.

Getting in touch with teen Mel again was an interesting one as I really didn’t enjoy my teenage for a number of reasons and have blocked out most of it from my memory.  I learnt a LOT from that time, but I ignore the actual experience as much as possible – life has got so much better since!

In Melvin’s first session on “Voice” we had to relive a teen experience and write about it from the point of view of another character involved in it.  With trepidation, I chose a situation when I was deliberately and unkindly betrayed by some “friends”.  Writing it from the main perpetrator’s POV was fascinating though, coz although I’d kinda understood why she’d done it, I’d never put myself in her position to think it through in detail before.  Reflecting on her possible motivations as though I was her, made me realise that I could have so easily acted the same way she had.  She certainly wouldn’t have thought that what she did was anywhere near as significant as it felt to me.  An incident that’s had serious emotional repercussions throughout my life suddenly seemed less of a big deal.  Unexpected result!

Melvin suggested that writing an autobiography of your teens can be a valuable way to remember that time, especially if you’ve repressed it – not for publishing (ever!) but as a personal exercise, which could have positive repercussions on YA writing.  I think I’ll give that a go!  It could be fun.  It’ll certainly be fascinating to see what comes up.  Melvin reckoned this exercise often unearths good memories from that time too, even if you initially remember it as just being crap.

Lucy’s workshop the next day – this time on the power of “Objects” – continued to help me open up more suppressed memories from my teenage.  Lucy asked us to draw a shoe we wore in our teens.  Initially I couldn’t recall a single thing that went on my feet during that time.  Then suddenly I remembered a much-longed-for pair of white stilettos.  They were so pointed that a kick from them would have done serious harm and made walking pretty painful too.  The heel was so sharp that I was constantly afraid of making a hole in carpets or wooden floors, or – even worse – standing on someone’s foot and doing them a serious injury!  They weren’t very high but they were my first pair of heels and I felt super grown-up and glamorous in them :-)  As I sketched them and jotted down notes about how I’d felt physically and emotionally when wearing them, I was instantly transported straight back to Nappy Night (an under-18s disco at the local nightclub) and numerous memories started flooding back!!

It was bizarre!  I could almost perfectly remember the layout of the place – the bar, the dance floor, the mixing desk, the seating, the lighting - even though it’s more than 20 years since I’ve been there.  I could vividly recall the feelings of hopefulness that whichever guy I fancied at the time would be there, heartaches and awkwardness after relationship splits or wrangles, self-esteem struggles comparing myself to the other seemingly slimmer and prettier girls there, as well as just enjoying the music and the fun of dancing.

They weren't as high as these, but you get the idea!

Who would have ever thought a pair of shoes could provide such powerful and easy access into long-forgotten memories?  I was so pleased with the piece of writing I produced from this exercise that I even volunteered to read it out in the session (having refused up until then)!!

Of course, none of this was supposed to be just a psychological therapy or regression exercise, beneficial though that might be!  If objects hold powerful memories or meanings for us, then that can also be true for our characters.  That workshop gave me lots of ideas for ways I could use objects in my writing.  I might even try and work those white stilettos in…

Amazing Arvon - The Difference A Week Can Make

Two weeks ago I went on a “Writing For Young Adults” Arvon Foundation course.  It's still pretty much impossible to talk about the incredible week I had there without sounding totally OTT and pathetically sycophantic. I'm good at OTT, so I don't mind that accusation, but I detest sycophancy.  But, credit where it's due, so I'll risk it!

This is just an overview or taster really - there’s so much to share from it that I’ll be unpacking it for you in blog posts for weeks to come :-)

If I'm completely honest with you then it didn't always feel like the most amazing week of my life at the time. Events like that quickly and massively wear me out, resulting in lots of triggers being pressed.  There were times when I was overwhelmed by inadequacy and felt like a complete fraud.
 
But it WAS amazing and there were three key factors that made it so. The first was simply the fact that I was staying in a beautiful country house, in an idyllic setting, with fantastic food that I didn't have to make and nothing to do for the week but concentrate on writing!

Gorgeous Lumb Bank (thanks to Dorthe Andersen)

The beautiful view from my bedroom window!

The second factor was the amazing tutors. When I'd first discovered the course I was gobsmacked that such big successful authors as Melvin Burgess, Lucy Christopher and Meg Rosoff were doing it.  More detail on them in future posts, but they were fantastic!   They gave so much of themselves – their insights, experience, knowledge, encouragement, energy and time.  They went far above and beyond what I'd expected of them. They weren't just teaching a course, they were totally WITH us. I was super impressed.

The workshops were where the most condensed learning took place and over the week we looked primarily at voice, plot, setting and using objects to help you connect with a scene or situation.  I learnt so much in each of these that they’re gonna need their own blog post (or two!) too - there are plenty of funny stories and insights to share from them :-)

The downside of learning about good writing is that it made me more and more aware of how much my writing could be improved.  Add to that overwhelming feelings of inadequacy caused by hearing others read out amazing pieces of work and you’ll understand why it was such an emotional, challenging and cathartic time as well as amazing (although none of those things are mutually exclusive).  All these struggles are being fast forgotten though, and I’m just increasingly aware of the huge value of what I've learnt and the impact it's already having on my writing.

The final great factor was meeting 15 other wannabe YA writers. Everyone was really friendly and interesting - I never minded who I sat next to in workshops, meals or social times. No cliques formed.  Naturally there were people I got on particularly well with and I'll definitely be keeping in touch with them, not least to encourage and cheer them on in their writing journeys!  It's very exciting to think that one day - hopefully in the not too distant future - I'll see a new YA book advertised that's written by one of my Arvon friends.

Everything I learnt and experienced in that week at Arvon will have positive repercussions in my writing for years to come.  I can’t recommend their courses highly enough – although I do now have the problem that any future courses I might attend couldn’t possibly be as amazing as this one!  If you’re serious about writing – or any other dream - then investing money in a good quality course is priceless.  If you find one you want to do then sell your TV, sell your car, sell your kidney, but make sure you find a way to do it :-)

Life Lesson From A River

My Arvon Foundation Writing for Young Adults course was last week.  It was incredible.  I’ll blog about it properly in the next post (or posts – I reckon there’s enough material in that experience to keep me in posts right up until Christmas easily).  Right now I’m still processing all that I learnt and experienced, as well as trying to work out how to write about it without overusing superlatives and OTT adjectives!

This is a post I wrote while I was there.  I thought it might be interesting/amusing to get an insight into my crazy philosophical mindset – how I love to overthink everything and turn it into some meaningful life lesson :-) 

I went walking one afternoon at Lumb Bank (Arvon’s centre in Hebden Bridge).  I was going to have a nap, but Melvin Burgess had scoffed at me* when I mentioned my afternoon’s objective!  So, wanting to prove that I wasn’t a wuss – and because it was ridiculous not to get some fresh air, exercise and enjoy this beautiful part of the country - I put my walking boots on and headed out before the clouds and rain settled in deeper.

The nearby crags had been recommended, but on my way there the call of the river was too strong, so I decided to seek that out instead.  I always worry about getting lost (especially without a map), but I was also up for a bit of an adventure.  It was easy-peasy though.  Around the lane, past a row of terraced houses and down the steps marked with a Public Footpath sign. 

The river’s roar was exhilarating, like it was having a good old cathartic shout.  It’s a noise that always releases any tension and forces me to have a deep sigh and relax. 

Every self-respecting river should have a path that runs alongside it.  I really hoped there was one so that I could stay next to it and enjoy it as long as possible.  I LOVE rivers.  I love how they crash along when they’re full and fast flowing – nothing is going to slow them down.  Determined, forceful, unrelenting.  I also love the way they meander when the water levels are lower, lazily babbling along without a care in the world.  But no matter how much water’s in them, I love the fact that they persist regardless of what obstacles get in their way.  They just keep moving and find a way around them.

I love a good philosophical lesson from nature ;-)

Finding a path looked hopeful to start with and off I went.  I figured that I wouldn’t be the only person that had ever wanted to take this route, and that even if there wasn’t an official path, a makeshift one would have been trampled through somewhere.

It was true for a while.  Until it got to the point when continuing meant walking along what might have been a path, but it was on a muddy precipice a few metres above the water.  If I mistimed my footing then I would go crashing down into the river at alarming speed.  I didn't want to get that close to it!  So I looked for another way round and went off piste a bit.  I headed up a fairly steep incline, aiming for what looked it might be a real path, when I slipped and slid down a bit again.  No harm done, apart from a mud-caked knee on my clean jeans (one wardrobe item out of action for the rest of the week).  I decided to abandon that route as getting back to the house completely covered in mud might draw a bit too much attention.

Retracing my steps I came to a fork.  The path I’d come up was on the right, an alternative route on the left.  I went left.  Yay, a real path!  Where on earth it was supposed to lead to, I have no idea.  As it petered out I had to duck under half felled trees and climb over dry stone walls to reach a “real” path.  I ended up back at the steps where I’d first found the river.  A complete loop.

Part of me was disappointed, but my philosophical musing brain was ecstatic!  Look how well this fits with your last blog post about ideas and not knowing which one to pursue.  You tried this path and that path, and even went off piste, and it didn’t work out, but you still enjoyed the walk, didn’t you? It was beautiful and where you wanted to spend time.  You got fresh air and exercise too.

So it doesn’t matter if the same happens with your writing now, does it?  If you go off on one idea and it doesn’t work out then try an alternative.  If you find that all your attempts to get somewhere with a story lead nowhere, then so what?  If you enjoyed what you were doing and got some more valuable writing experience out of the process, then it’s never gonna be a total waste of time and energy. 

Even though I ended up retracing my steps all the way back to Lumb Bank, rather than succeeding with my preferred option of a circular walk, I was glad I’d gone out.  I was also glad of the nap I had when I got back (sorry Melvin!), made all the sweeter and more deserved for the fresh air and exercise. 

*It was a gentle - and deserved - scoff, rather than a mean one.  Melvin Burgess was nowhere near as scary as I thought he would be.  More on that in future posts…